So Afraid

And when you’re all alone
Staring out the window
At the pink-red-purple-blue streaks
Thinking
Yesterday should have been my last

It’s when you don’t cry anymore
Except during the happiest of songs
It’s when your heart ceases to exist
Except for when you in slumber

And when you’re all alone
Wandering through the crowds
Shielding your face from the hearsay
Trying
Your hardest not to think

The only chance for answers
Kept strapped in a bottle
Floating far out in the dead
Sea.

I want to run far away
Where I am motivated
By myself
Where I can dream
Without sleeping
Where I do not fail
My own heart
Where I do not feel
The hurt from you
Where no one can harm
Me

Better yet
Just pay attention
Very hard
Very close
Attention
To my cries
Of want, of need
Of dreams.